Keep Your Eyes Open And shut your mouth for once. Sigh You would think that as an adult, almost twenty years old, you would be just a little bit more mature. Just a little bit wiser. Just a little bit more intelligent. But no. This entire week that mom and dad have been gone you have said some of THE MOST blatantly prejudice things which exemplify your avarice and provincial attitude. How are you even related to me. Your entire bombastic mindset only exists in an attempt to cover the boor underneath. Yeah, I get it. You’re older. You’re in college. Yet, that does not make you smarter. Mom and dad leave so you feel the need to act like you are in completely control of the household. This authoritarian demeanor is quite pathetic. I think by now I am old enough to decide on my own what to do. I don’t need you pretending to know what is better for me. I never have. I never will. The sad part is I knew that this would happen. The entire year you lived at home instead of the dorms. You know why? You can’t pass college if you live in the dorms. Except, you cannot even focus at home. You promised to take a class for college in the summer. That didn’t happen. You promised to get a job. You do not even work 25 hours a week yet, you complain about how hard it is and how hard your life is. You constantly have to compare what I am going with what you do. You tell me that you life 40 pound bags of animal food or kitty litter and its so much harder than running 4 miles or playing tennis for 3 hours. You do not need to belabor the point. Yeah, you got a job. Great. Now do your job and stop complaining about it. You chose, of all places, Petsmart to work at. There are so many other places. You could have worked as a library page. All you do is organize and shelve books. Sometimes you have to deal with parents and kids. Oh wait. Then you have to think. You have to actually know the alphabet, know how to organize by numerical value, know where books go. Oh no. So yes. you deserve some extolment. Congrats. You got a job. When mom and dad berate you, they actually have a reason. You call it when they “ching chang chong” which is extremely racist and churlish. I admit that they scold you so much it became banal and now holds little significance. However, you constantly squander their time, money, and all the resources they hand to you on a plate. You wonder why dad is always angry at you? Your flagrant disregard for other people is enough to anger anyone, but combined with your immutable disposition just makes it outright ridiculous. To make no attempt to ameliorate yourself. Your apathy is only there to cover up your completely unwillingness to change. Your entire temperament is based on indolence, and languidness. Combined with your inflated ego it is futile to hope you even turn out to be a decent person. You always wonder why my derision for you has been so high. It is because I cannot respect a person who does not try. At all. Yesterday you called me a “fuckin try hard” and told me “retard just stop, you’re makin it worse for me.” Being a try hard isn’t a bad thing. It is rather injudicious to not try. So what if you don’t get straight A’s when you try. I can guarantee your grades will be something worth at least a little extol. Effort matters. You need to discern the difference between doing badly because you didn’t try and not doing as well as you would have liked although you did try. Moreover, I have an immeasurable amount more of respect for that person. It is quite lugubrious that so many aspects of your life you “yolo.” You’re getting a fake ID. I hope you get caught. Maybe that will teach you a lesson for once. You don’t care about college. You don’t care about work. Except, you constantly drone about how hard your life is. How you want to buy all this stuff. How the government sucks because they tax too much. You embody the occupy movement you know. Although though you are fastidious about what they do, you say the same things. You have a part time job that pays minimum wage and you are whining about how the government has income tax. Your income tax is what. Fifteen percent. What are you going to do when you get a real job that pays a great deal more. Refuse to pay the taxes? Guess what. You don’t want income tax? Move to a different country. Oh wait. Many first world countries have income tax. Furthermore, their income tax is much higher. So why don’t you move to Africa? Maybe Antarctica? Oh. Is that too arduous for you? Wake up. The money you spend? It isn’t yours. Its our parents. Apathetic? Think your splurging is innocuous? You lack self-control and you are adamant that you are always right. So why do I have this animosity. Perhaps it is because you have never done anything for me ever out of kindness. You are just extremely cacophonous and philistine. Since mom and dad are gone and you cannot cook to save your life, actually, you would probably burn the house down, I am responsible for doing ALL the chores as well as making all the meals. So, most of the week you went out at around 4:30 and just bought yourself food. Which, to me, is whatever. Its your money. Not really. But you did not discern when you should and should not spend money. Mom was apprehensive when she gave you some money because she knew you were going to waste it all. So. Yesterday, I did all the chores. I cleaned the house up for mom and dad’s return. What did you do? sit in your room cussing at your computer extremely loud and yelling at me to turn my music down which I had turned it up because I was tired of hearing all the profanity spewing from your mouth. A few days ago, when I went to tell you that dinner was ready, you immediately started screaming “WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU WANT. HURRY THE FUCK UP AND SAY IT. WHAT THE FUCK. SHUT THE FUCK UP. GO THE FUCK AWAY.” As I walked away, I clearly hear you say into your mic “MY FUCKIN BROTHER CAME IN AND WAS BEING HELLA ANNOYING.” Yeah. Sorry. Being annoying. Hey guess what. Its a video game. Why don’t you wake up to reality. Perhaps my mind is antiquated, but before, we didn’t just start cussing at people when they have done hella stuff for you. We didn’t refer to our parents as “communists.” Your atrocious manners serves as a direct correlation to how they act. But you don’t think so. Your vainglory allows you to believe in their disparity. However, if I acted as appallingly as you do, they would treat me the same way. Yesterday, you told me of several things you charged on the American Express. The credit card that mom and dad pay for. Not you. You were apathetic, saying “oh who cares its not my money.” They left for a week on a vacation that you did not even want to go on and you act like they abandoned you. That money does not come from no where. Our parents have paid every cent of your college tuition, of your dorms, of your food, of your textbooks. What do you do? Waste their money. You buy a new computer. You constantly buy video games. You buy crap. You don’t even need all those things. So this is where you turn around and tell me that I buy tons of crap that I don’t need. I buy clothes so I don’t look like trash which you do. I buy tennis stuff because I need new grips or shock absorbers. I buy books for enjoyment and for school. Yeah. I waste a ton of money. At least those things last me longer than your video games which you play for a day and get bored of. So yes, continue to sit in your chair or sleep all day long and atrophy. What happens if you fail out of college? You think mom and dad can bail you out of that? How will you afford all the useless piles of crap you waste your money on. How can you afford all the food that you constantly buy despite the massive stockpile at home. I suppose it is expedient for me that you are so apathetic about everything. There is no expectations for me. I set the expectations for you. The ironic part is how analogous you are to dad. You both would entirely deny it, but you are prodigal just like him. Both of you get angry extremely easily, although I suppose I do too. Both of you will never take responsibility and always blame it on everyone else but yourselves. Both of you are in self-denial. All this crap about me being a bad driver. Get over it. I could be so much worse. And honestly, you aren’t that much better, even if you think so. You are reckless and all about having fun. You told me with zeal how you drifted around a corner in the integra. Good job. You told me how you could care less about the car even though it is not even your own car. So in that aspect you are actually a worse driver. If you do not care for your vehicle then how will it function. You always go on and on how you want some ridiculous super car. With what money. How do you plan on buying a car that cost $100,000 when you have a part time job and you might not even finish college. As it is, you are looking at another 4 years of college if not 6. That’s just to get a bachelors. Moreover, when you graduate if you can even get a job, you will definitely not be making more than $100,000 a year. Probably half that at most. Then a portion of that goes to a blight of your life—taxes. Then you constantly buy stuff, in fact you buy more stuff than you actually earn. With that demeanor how could you possibly buy a new car. Another thing, you may hate taxes, but they actually do things. They pay for services like fixing roads. You complain about how the roads are always so rough and crap. They fix them. They pay for police, for fire fighters, for public facilities. Yeah, you don’t use them. You dislike the police because you are all yolo and want to defy the law. The law isn’t there to be defied fool. It is there for the safety of the people. You don’t care about the firefighters because we haven’t had our house explode in fire. What if it did? What if you were trapped. They could get you out. Oh. There isn’t any because no one paid the taxes for them. You don’t use public facilities like parks or the rec center because you don’t even go outside. When was the last time you played tennis. Don’t lie. It was about senior year in high school. Perhaps I am being too astringent. Perhaps if you were assiduous. Perhaps if your blatant disregard for other people was less so. When you begin to call Indian people “cockroaches,” when you begin to refer to our parents lecturing you as “ching chang chong”, or when you begin to cuss at people because it makes you audacious, then you will understand why I disparage you. I tried an avant-garde mindset, but that lost any hope within about three minutes. Its pathetic that i heldatavistic ideals and I actually looked up to you until I realized that you are just an ass. An ass who does not try because he is afraid of failure. An ass who squanders everything that is given to him because he is indolent. An ass who will go no where in life because the only thing he desires is food, video games, and sleep. Your ephemeral life will embody yolo. Have fun. The auspicious life you started with—gone. So at this point, if you ever read this, you will start cussing saying I use words too large for your puny brain. Use a dictionary. It won’t kill you. Then when the implications of everything I said finally hit your bovine mind you will begin to start making up fallacious claims which entirely emphasize your braggart personality and achieve nothing. You’ll begin to say shit about me like oh you’re so much thinner than I am. You lost so much weight. You are so fit. You work harder than I do. My life is easy. Your main argument? I’m stupid. Great argument. That I am going to drown in my college loans. That my college will be so much harder except you will receive the same degree and in your mind they will be equal. Like saying a degree from SJSU is on the same level as Stanford. Whenever I say anything what will you say? NOPE. Complete denial with no acknowledgement of the opposing side. Sigh. You know, this summer was supposed to be all about relaxing. My pent up anger had slowly been draining away until mom and dad went on their vacation and I was left with you. Then I realized how glad I am not to be our parents because they have to deal with all your crap. It was so painful to listen to your brusque speeches. In the end, its like this. Wake up to reality before reality forces you awake by smashing you into rock bottom. I will not help you back up. You have to figure it out yourself.

Keep Your Eyes Open

And shut your mouth for once.

Sigh

You would think that as an adult, almost twenty years old, you would be just a little bit more mature. Just a little bit wiser. Just a little bit more intelligent. But no. This entire week that mom and dad have been gone you have said some of THE MOST blatantly prejudice things which exemplify your avarice and provincial attitude.

How are you even related to me.

Your entire bombastic mindset only exists in an attempt to cover the boor underneath. Yeah, I get it. You’re older. You’re in college. Yet, that does not make you smarter. Mom and dad leave so you feel the need to act like you are in completely control of the household. This authoritarian demeanor is quite pathetic. I think by now I am old enough to decide on my own what to do. I don’t need you pretending to know what is better for me. I never have. I never will. The sad part is I knew that this would happen.

The entire year you lived at home instead of the dorms. You know why? You can’t pass college if you live in the dorms. Except, you cannot even focus at home. You promised to take a class for college in the summer. That didn’t happen. You promised to get a job. You do not even work 25 hours a week yet, you complain about how hard it is and how hard your life is. You constantly have to compare what I am going with what you do. You tell me that you life 40 pound bags of animal food or kitty litter and its so much harder than running 4 miles or playing tennis for 3 hours. You do not need to belabor the point. Yeah, you got a job. Great. Now do your job and stop complaining about it. You chose, of all places, Petsmart to work at. There are so many other places. You could have worked as a library page. All you do is organize and shelve books. Sometimes you have to deal with parents and kids. Oh wait. Then you have to think. You have to actually know the alphabet, know how to organize by numerical value, know where books go. Oh no.

So yes. you deserve some extolment. Congrats. You got a job. When mom and dad berate you, they actually have a reason. You call it when they “ching chang chong” which is extremely racist and churlish. I admit that they scold you so much it became banal and now holds little significance. However, you constantly squander their time, money, and all the resources they hand to you on a plate. You wonder why dad is always angry at you? Your flagrant disregard for other people is enough to anger anyone, but combined with your immutable disposition just makes it outright ridiculous. To make no attempt to ameliorate yourself. Your apathy is only there to cover up your completely unwillingness to change.

Your entire temperament is based on indolence, and languidness. Combined with your inflated ego it is futile to hope you even turn out to be a decent person. You always wonder why my derision for you has been so high. It is because I cannot respect a person who does not try. At all. Yesterday you called me a “fuckin try hard” and told me “retard just stop, you’re makin it worse for me.” Being a try hard isn’t a bad thing. It is rather injudicious to not try. So what if you don’t get straight A’s when you try. I can guarantee your grades will be something worth at least a little extol. Effort matters. You need to discern the difference between doing badly because you didn’t try and not doing as well as you would have liked although you did try. Moreover, I have an immeasurable amount more of respect for that person.

It is quite lugubrious that so many aspects of your life you “yolo.” You’re getting a fake ID. I hope you get caught. Maybe that will teach you a lesson for once. You don’t care about college. You don’t care about work. Except, you constantly drone about how hard your life is. How you want to buy all this stuff. How the government sucks because they tax too much. You embody the occupy movement you know. Although though you are fastidious about what they do, you say the same things. You have a part time job that pays minimum wage and you are whining about how the government has income tax. Your income tax is what. Fifteen percent. What are you going to do when you get a real job that pays a great deal more. Refuse to pay the taxes? Guess what. You don’t want income tax? Move to a different country. Oh wait. Many first world countries have income tax. Furthermore, their income tax is much higher. So why don’t you move to Africa? Maybe Antarctica? Oh. Is that too arduous for you?

Wake up.

The money you spend? It isn’t yours. Its our parents. Apathetic? Think your splurging is innocuous? You lack self-control and you are adamant that you are always right. So why do I have this animosity. Perhaps it is because you have never done anything for me ever out of kindness. You are just extremely cacophonous and philistine. Since mom and dad are gone and you cannot cook to save your life, actually, you would probably burn the house down, I am responsible for doing ALL the chores as well as making all the meals. So, most of the week you went out at around 4:30 and just bought yourself food. Which, to me, is whatever. Its your money. Not really. But you did not discern when you should and should not spend money. Mom was apprehensive when she gave you some money because she knew you were going to waste it all.

So. Yesterday, I did all the chores. I cleaned the house up for mom and dad’s return. What did you do? sit in your room cussing at your computer extremely loud and yelling at me to turn my music down which I had turned it up because I was tired of hearing all the profanity spewing from your mouth. A few days ago, when I went to tell you that dinner was ready, you immediately started screaming “WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU WANT. HURRY THE FUCK UP AND SAY IT. WHAT THE FUCK. SHUT THE FUCK UP. GO THE FUCK AWAY.” As I walked away, I clearly hear you say into your mic “MY FUCKIN BROTHER CAME IN AND WAS BEING HELLA ANNOYING.” Yeah. Sorry. Being annoying.

Hey guess what. Its a video game. Why don’t you wake up to reality. Perhaps my mind is antiquated, but before, we didn’t just start cussing at people when they have done hella stuff for you. We didn’t refer to our parents as “communists.” Your atrocious manners serves as a direct correlation to how they act. But you don’t think so. Your vainglory allows you to believe in their disparity. However, if I acted as appallingly as you do, they would treat me the same way.

Yesterday, you told me of several things you charged on the American Express. The credit card that mom and dad pay for. Not you. You were apathetic, saying “oh who cares its not my money.” They left for a week on a vacation that you did not even want to go on and you act like they abandoned you. That money does not come from no where. Our parents have paid every cent of your college tuition, of your dorms, of your food, of your textbooks. What do you do? Waste their money. You buy a new computer. You constantly buy video games. You buy crap. You don’t even need all those things. So this is where you turn around and tell me that I buy tons of crap that I don’t need. I buy clothes so I don’t look like trash which you do. I buy tennis stuff because I need new grips or shock absorbers. I buy books for enjoyment and for school. Yeah. I waste a ton of money. At least those things last me longer than your video games which you play for a day and get bored of.

So yes, continue to sit in your chair or sleep all day long and atrophy. What happens if you fail out of college? You think mom and dad can bail you out of that? How will you afford all the useless piles of crap you waste your money on. How can you afford all the food that you constantly buy despite the massive stockpile at home. I suppose it is expedient for me that you are so apathetic about everything. There is no expectations for me. I set the expectations for you. The ironic part is how analogous you are to dad. You both would entirely deny it, but you are prodigal just like him. Both of you get angry extremely easily, although I suppose I do too. Both of you will never take responsibility and always blame it on everyone else but yourselves. Both of you are in self-denial.

All this crap about me being a bad driver. Get over it. I could be so much worse. And honestly, you aren’t that much better, even if you think so. You are reckless and all about having fun. You told me with zeal how you drifted around a corner in the integra. Good job. You told me how you could care less about the car even though it is not even your own car. So in that aspect you are actually a worse driver. If you do not care for your vehicle then how will it function. You always go on and on how you want some ridiculous super car. With what money. How do you plan on buying a car that cost $100,000 when you have a part time job and you might not even finish college. As it is, you are looking at another 4 years of college if not 6. That’s just to get a bachelors. Moreover, when you graduate if you can even get a job, you will definitely not be making more than $100,000 a year. Probably half that at most. Then a portion of that goes to a blight of your life—taxes. Then you constantly buy stuff, in fact you buy more stuff than you actually earn. With that demeanor how could you possibly buy a new car.

Another thing, you may hate taxes, but they actually do things. They pay for services like fixing roads. You complain about how the roads are always so rough and crap. They fix them. They pay for police, for fire fighters, for public facilities. Yeah, you don’t use them. You dislike the police because you are all yolo and want to defy the law. The law isn’t there to be defied fool. It is there for the safety of the people. You don’t care about the firefighters because we haven’t had our house explode in fire. What if it did? What if you were trapped. They could get you out. Oh. There isn’t any because no one paid the taxes for them. You don’t use public facilities like parks or the rec center because you don’t even go outside. When was the last time you played tennis. Don’t lie. It was about senior year in high school.

Perhaps I am being too astringent. Perhaps if you were assiduous. Perhaps if your blatant disregard for other people was less so. When you begin to call Indian people “cockroaches,” when you begin to refer to our parents lecturing you as “ching chang chong”, or when you begin to cuss at people because it makes you audacious, then you will understand why I disparage you. I tried an avant-garde mindset, but that lost any hope within about three minutes. Its pathetic that i heldatavistic ideals and I actually looked up to you until I realized that you are just an ass. An ass who does not try because he is afraid of failure. An ass who squanders everything that is given to him because he is indolent. An ass who will go no where in life because the only thing he desires is food, video games, and sleep. Your ephemeral life will embody yolo. Have fun. The auspicious life you started with—gone.

So at this point, if you ever read this, you will start cussing saying I use words too large for your puny brain. Use a dictionary. It won’t kill you.

Then when the implications of everything I said finally hit your bovine mind you will begin to start making up fallacious claims which entirely emphasize your braggart personality and achieve nothing. You’ll begin to say shit about me like oh you’re so much thinner than I am. You lost so much weight. You are so fit. You work harder than I do. My life is easy. Your main argument? I’m stupid. Great argument. That I am going to drown in my college loans. That my college will be so much harder except you will receive the same degree and in your mind they will be equal. Like saying a degree from SJSU is on the same level as Stanford. Whenever I say anything what will you say? NOPE. Complete denial with no acknowledgement of the opposing side.

Sigh.

You know, this summer was supposed to be all about relaxing. My pent up anger had slowly been draining away until mom and dad went on their vacation and I was left with you. Then I realized how glad I am not to be our parents because they have to deal with all your crap. It was so painful to listen to your brusque speeches.

In the end, its like this. Wake up to reality before reality forces you awake by smashing you into rock bottom. I will not help you back up. You have to figure it out yourself.

Now it’s too late to apologize. So I figured that after I got into a major argument with one of my closest friends I would be able to control myself a little better. Wrong. I have been trying so hard to be more pleasant, especially around the house. I have not been harassing my brother. I have not been bothering anyone. And yet you still do the same crap. Grow up. Who is the adult here? You or me? Clearly you have the maturity of a four year old. You ALWAYS are trying to assert dominance over the entire household. To prove what. That you have big balls? Does it even matter. Do you think that you deserve respect? I don’t think you do. What have you done to earn it? Yeah. Respect is EARNED. You cannot force others to respect you. Yes, you can be congratulated for your achievements. Woo you graduated from Berkeley. You have a job. You get paid. Despite all of these achievements, your lack of regard for the rest of us causes me to LOSE respect for you. While I may not treat my brother with the respect that I really should, I pretty much get it from you. Now, you’re going to completely deny this because you will never. ever. ever. take the blame to yourself. Ever. For anything. Even if it is blatantly your fault. Ever. You constantly give him more crap that I do and I must say, it is for good reason. However, being a hypocrite and getting angry over me saying the same crap isn’t really anything to even get angry over. First of all, lets get this straight. That post I made on facebook, its gone. I deleted it. Moreover, I wrote it at around 2am and it was on a post that Jasmine posted on my wall. Not a status. This means that only our mutual friends can see it, and those who were awake at 2am. That right there narrows it down to about 10 people. Furthermore, why does it even matter. So what I wrote it on facebook. You and mom are so paranoid that the entire WORLD knows about my dislike for my brother. Yeah well YOU dislike him too. The entire world does NOT know. And guess what, it really is none of your business what I post on facebook. I do not post a ton of information. I don’t reveal how much you make. I don’t tell everyone about everything you ever buy. I don’t post pictures of the houses like a camera whore. I don’t brag about everything I own. Why were you even stalking my facebook in the first place. Was there an actual point to it. No. So why bother. Oh because you want to know what I’m up to? How about ASKING. Oh because I always tell you to leave? Well I don’t. I generally tell that to my mom because she bothers me too much and I already told her everything and I really don’t feel like telling it a second time. You know the real reason for you caring so much? Its all about your precious self-image. You want this family to look perfect. You think that my behavior is a reflection on YOU. I would love to say that the effort I put into school is a reflection on you, but sadly it is not. The aspect of me which reflects you the most is my anger. Moreover, you can’t always get what you want. Look at your other son. Is he what you wanted? Does he reflect all your hopes and dreams? No. Now, this entire post will be practically meaningless to you in impact because of one, your fury, and two your inability to comprehend from a lack of the ability to analyze English and the effectiveness of writing. It is too bad that I can’t use one of these posts as my portfolio letter for Courey. I always write with the best rhetorical strategies in these. Let us establish point two. In that post on facebook, the entire point was not that when I grow up I should act poor to make my children less spoiled. Again, rhetorical analysis. The point was to emphasize how it was YOUR fault for creating spoiled children. Do you think that by doing this you are going to make him or me become unspoiled. You are about 20 years too late. But of course you would interpret that to me saying “you’re stupid” and “you’re a jerk.” Seriously, that rhetorical analysis. I already said you went to Berkeley. You aren’t stupid. I know. Now, you really are a jerk. You can be nice, but you’re a jerk. Except that was not what I was trying to convey in that post so I really do not see how you came to that conclusion. After you discovered that post, you wanted me to make a public apology on facebook. That really was not going to happen. What was I going to apologize for? Throwing my burdens on them? Being a burden to YOU? Furthermore, I am seriously not going to apologize to you. The people who get in arguments with me already know that I have problems apologizing even though I know I should. It’s probably a pride thing. However, the thing is that I still do. While I do, you have NEVER. EVER. For all the crap I endured throughout my childhood and still now, not once have you apologized for your bad behavior. I am old enough and I work hard enough to deserve a little more maturity from you. I don’t need you to hold my hand. I never have. The one thing you provide this household is money. While yes, it is nice to have. It gives me nice things and I have a higher standard of living, the question is, is it worth the sacrifice? I wonder now, how different I would be if my parents were split up. How my life would be right now since I would probably be living with my mother. Today, on the way back from dinner, you decided to ruin one of the best days I’ve had in a while. You decided to tell my brother that he needed to take the recycling to the dump or whatever to collect the extra money from the water bottles. He of course said he didn’t want to and he never did and he didn’t want the money and it is such hard work. You decided that it HAD to be TOMORROW morning. Then you told me that I’m now going. Before I even said ANYTHING you decided to say that I owe you $25. Okay first of all lets get this straight. I paid you $90 the other day when you got pissed at me and decided you wanted the money you gave me for prom back. $90 out of $100. Since when did that become $25. You decided to tack on the $5 monthly fee of the data plan for my phone that you were charging me. I want you to get this fucking straight. I did not want a new phone for christmas. However, you decided that EVERYONE needed to get a new phone. I was not going to get a phone worse than the one I already had. There was two phones that had a full keyboard and were similar to mine, but THEY ARE WORSE. Do you get that. So I got this phone. Don’t get me wrong. I love this phone, but this is ridiculous. You are making me pay for something that I did not want voluntarily. I did not need a new phone. Nothing was wrong with that phone. It was great. The battery lasted for more than two days. So you told me that the $5 fee would come out of my allowance. You haven’t been paying me allowance. So not only do you get that money, but you get to keep almost five times the amount. Why the hell are you charging me this then. Oh. Because “‘we’re poor.’” Seriously. Once again, that misinterpretation due to bad rhetorical analysis. You then spewed some crap about how I am 16 or 17 and I am old enough to get a job. Yeah, you seriously did not know how old I am. That just proves that you didn’t remember my birthday. I bet the only reason you called home and told mom was because a reminder popped up on Outlook when you started your computer at work. You want me to have a job? Fine. I applied to some already. Then you went off on how you had a job at my age and you were working and how damn poor you were. Do you want me to go to college? I could easily get a job, but do I have time for it. No. Do you even know that? No. I wouldn’t expect you to know. Or care. Finals are next week and despite the fact that most of my grades are set, there are still a few that can change. So if you want, I CAN get a job. I just won’t go to college because apparently that is what you want. According to the values you set, work comes before education. Chores come before education. Helping comply to your every need and whim is more important than education. I have been working so hard all year to earn good grades. I could just not care whatsoever and get C’s and B’s. Going to SJSU. Working at Petsmart. Sound familiar. Frankly, this is why you are a jerk. If anyone else were my parent, they would be proud to have me. I know that school comes first. I stay up doing my projects and assignments. I do the work. I barely play video games. I could have been mentally impaired. I could have not given any damn. I could have given up. I could have been lazy and quit. I could have not done any sports. I could have not been a club officer. I could have not made friends. I could have not been as smart as I am. It is said that what makes who you are, makes everyone beautiful, special in their own way. However, anything “different” from “normal” societal expectations in your eyes is a flaw. You only see the flaws. Nothing else. You always put us, your family, down. You expect perfection and yet do not achieve it yourself. That being said, how the hell would I have managed my 4 AP classes, and 1 honors class, with an additional language 3 class. Not to mention two sports, being a CSF officer, and tennis. Yes, tennis. The tennis season is never ending and it continues to be that way. In the middle of my AP tests, you decided to give me the biggest crap ever. Right before finals you decide the same? How do you expect perfect grades if you are part of my stress. I always feel so stressed all the time because both of you expect so much of me. How can I possibly live up to those expectations. As Mrs. Slate said “there simply is not enough time in the world to deal with that much work crammed in such a short span.” So there were these $100 tests. After the first one, which I felt like I completely failed. Like not even a 2 status, you gave me such crap. Now you expect me to pay for this ridiculous data plan out of my own pocket when I do not even have any income at all. How can I. what do I do, rely on the meager money that I can scrounge together from coins? The stupidity (yes, I said it this time) is so invidious that it is ridiculous. It is time to face reality. You made my brother like this. Constantly taking away the things he has made him very possessive and selfish. It condensed into this greed and uncontrollable desire to constantly play video games and eat. Your attitude caused my short temper along with my irritation at attributes similar to my brother or you. The only reason that I try so hard to be nice to people is the results of my friends. They were the ones who truly taught me what it means to be friends with someone. Not you. I hope that you treat my mother the way she deserves to be treated. You are such an ass to her. Despite that, she still does so much for you and you don’t even notice. You don’t even care. It isn’t enough. You want her to be one of the perfect housewives that are idealized from the baby boomer era. She has to have dinner on the table when you get home. She has to have every inch of the house clean ALL the time. She has to make sure that me and my brother are prepared for school. She has to make all the meals. Run all the errands. Do all the chores. Take care of everyone. When I asked her why you were such an asshole, she got really pissed. She asked what I would have her do, divorce you and be homeless? We couldn’t live in this home. We can’t afford it. We would have to move back with my grandparents in San Francisco and live with them. I would have to change schools. I would have to change my entire life style because we would not be able to afford anything. I honestly do not know what to say to you. The lack of respect for you makes me not want to talk to you at all. Even though you are my father, you certainly don’t act like it. You act four. Grow up. Be a mature adult. You are turning half a century old this year. Why don’t you demonstrate for once that you have half a century of wisdom and experience. I will not bow down before you. I will not serve you. Your son, Jason.

Now it’s too late to apologize.

So I figured that after I got into a major argument with one of my closest friends I would be able to control myself a little better. Wrong.

I have been trying so hard to be more pleasant, especially around the house. I have not been harassing my brother. I have not been bothering anyone. And yet you still do the same crap.

Grow up.

Who is the adult here? You or me? Clearly you have the maturity of a four year old. You ALWAYS are trying to assert dominance over the entire household. To prove what. That you have big balls? Does it even matter.

Do you think that you deserve respect? I don’t think you do. What have you done to earn it? Yeah. Respect is EARNED. You cannot force others to respect you. Yes, you can be congratulated for your achievements. Woo you graduated from Berkeley. You have a job. You get paid.

Despite all of these achievements, your lack of regard for the rest of us causes me to LOSE respect for you. While I may not treat my brother with the respect that I really should, I pretty much get it from you. Now, you’re going to completely deny this because you will never. ever. ever. take the blame to yourself. Ever. For anything. Even if it is blatantly your fault. Ever.

You constantly give him more crap that I do and I must say, it is for good reason. However, being a hypocrite and getting angry over me saying the same crap isn’t really anything to even get angry over.

First of all, lets get this straight. That post I made on facebook, its gone. I deleted it. Moreover, I wrote it at around 2am and it was on a post that Jasmine posted on my wall. Not a status. This means that only our mutual friends can see it, and those who were awake at 2am. That right there narrows it down to about 10 people. Furthermore, why does it even matter. So what I wrote it on facebook.

You and mom are so paranoid that the entire WORLD knows about my dislike for my brother. Yeah well YOU dislike him too. The entire world does NOT know. And guess what, it really is none of your business what I post on facebook.

I do not post a ton of information. I don’t reveal how much you make. I don’t tell everyone about everything you ever buy. I don’t post pictures of the houses like a camera whore. I don’t brag about everything I own. Why were you even stalking my facebook in the first place. Was there an actual point to it. No. So why bother. Oh because you want to know what I’m up to? How about ASKING. Oh because I always tell you to leave? Well I don’t. I generally tell that to my mom because she bothers me too much and I already told her everything and I really don’t feel like telling it a second time.

You know the real reason for you caring so much? Its all about your precious self-image. You want this family to look perfect. You think that my behavior is a reflection on YOU. I would love to say that the effort I put into school is a reflection on you, but sadly it is not. The aspect of me which reflects you the most is my anger. Moreover, you can’t always get what you want. Look at your other son. Is he what you wanted? Does he reflect all your hopes and dreams? No.

Now, this entire post will be practically meaningless to you in impact because of one, your fury, and two your inability to comprehend from a lack of the ability to analyze English and the effectiveness of writing. It is too bad that I can’t use one of these posts as my portfolio letter for Courey. I always write with the best rhetorical strategies in these.

Let us establish point two. In that post on facebook, the entire point was not that when I grow up I should act poor to make my children less spoiled. Again, rhetorical analysis. The point was to emphasize how it was YOUR fault for creating spoiled children. Do you think that by doing this you are going to make him or me become unspoiled. You are about 20 years too late.

But of course you would interpret that to me saying “you’re stupid” and “you’re a jerk.” Seriously, that rhetorical analysis. I already said you went to Berkeley. You aren’t stupid. I know. Now, you really are a jerk. You can be nice, but you’re a jerk. Except that was not what I was trying to convey in that post so I really do not see how you came to that conclusion.

After you discovered that post, you wanted me to make a public apology on facebook. That really was not going to happen. What was I going to apologize for? Throwing my burdens on them? Being a burden to YOU? Furthermore, I am seriously not going to apologize to you.

The people who get in arguments with me already know that I have problems apologizing even though I know I should. It’s probably a pride thing. However, the thing is that I still do. While I do, you have NEVER. EVER. For all the crap I endured throughout my childhood and still now, not once have you apologized for your bad behavior. I am old enough and I work hard enough to deserve a little more maturity from you. I don’t need you to hold my hand. I never have.

The one thing you provide this household is money. While yes, it is nice to have. It gives me nice things and I have a higher standard of living, the question is, is it worth the sacrifice? I wonder now, how different I would be if my parents were split up. How my life would be right now since I would probably be living with my mother.

Today, on the way back from dinner, you decided to ruin one of the best days I’ve had in a while. You decided to tell my brother that he needed to take the recycling to the dump or whatever to collect the extra money from the water bottles. He of course said he didn’t want to and he never did and he didn’t want the money and it is such hard work.

You decided that it HAD to be TOMORROW morning. Then you told me that I’m now going. Before I even said ANYTHING you decided to say that I owe you $25. Okay first of all lets get this straight. I paid you $90 the other day when you got pissed at me and decided you wanted the money you gave me for prom back. $90 out of $100. Since when did that become $25. You decided to tack on the $5 monthly fee of the data plan for my phone that you were charging me.

I want you to get this fucking straight. I did not want a new phone for christmas. However, you decided that EVERYONE needed to get a new phone. I was not going to get a phone worse than the one I already had. There was two phones that had a full keyboard and were similar to mine, but THEY ARE WORSE. Do you get that. So I got this phone. Don’t get me wrong. I love this phone, but this is ridiculous. You are making me pay for something that I did not want voluntarily. I did not need a new phone. Nothing was wrong with that phone. It was great. The battery lasted for more than two days.

So you told me that the $5 fee would come out of my allowance. You haven’t been paying me allowance. So not only do you get that money, but you get to keep almost five times the amount. Why the hell are you charging me this then. Oh. Because “‘we’re poor.’” Seriously. Once again, that misinterpretation due to bad rhetorical analysis.

You then spewed some crap about how I am 16 or 17 and I am old enough to get a job. Yeah, you seriously did not know how old I am. That just proves that you didn’t remember my birthday. I bet the only reason you called home and told mom was because a reminder popped up on Outlook when you started your computer at work.

You want me to have a job? Fine. I applied to some already. Then you went off on how you had a job at my age and you were working and how damn poor you were. Do you want me to go to college? I could easily get a job, but do I have time for it. No. Do you even know that? No. I wouldn’t expect you to know. Or care. Finals are next week and despite the fact that most of my grades are set, there are still a few that can change.

So if you want, I CAN get a job. I just won’t go to college because apparently that is what you want. According to the values you set, work comes before education. Chores come before education. Helping comply to your every need and whim is more important than education.

I have been working so hard all year to earn good grades. I could just not care whatsoever and get C’s and B’s. Going to SJSU. Working at Petsmart. Sound familiar. Frankly, this is why you are a jerk. If anyone else were my parent, they would be proud to have me. I know that school comes first. I stay up doing my projects and assignments. I do the work. I barely play video games.

I could have been mentally impaired. I could have not given any damn. I could have given up. I could have been lazy and quit. I could have not done any sports. I could have not been a club officer. I could have not made friends. I could have not been as smart as I am.

It is said that what makes who you are, makes everyone beautiful, special in their own way. However, anything “different” from “normal” societal expectations in your eyes is a flaw. You only see the flaws. Nothing else. You always put us, your family, down. You expect perfection and yet do not achieve it yourself.

That being said, how the hell would I have managed my 4 AP classes, and 1 honors class, with an additional language 3 class. Not to mention two sports, being a CSF officer, and tennis. Yes, tennis. The tennis season is never ending and it continues to be that way. In the middle of my AP tests, you decided to give me the biggest crap ever. Right before finals you decide the same?

How do you expect perfect grades if you are part of my stress. I always feel so stressed all the time because both of you expect so much of me. How can I possibly live up to those expectations. As Mrs. Slate said “there simply is not enough time in the world to deal with that much work crammed in such a short span.” So there were these $100 tests. After the first one, which I felt like I completely failed. Like not even a 2 status, you gave me such crap.

Now you expect me to pay for this ridiculous data plan out of my own pocket when I do not even have any income at all. How can I. what do I do, rely on the meager money that I can scrounge together from coins? The stupidity (yes, I said it this time) is so invidious that it is ridiculous.

It is time to face reality. You made my brother like this. Constantly taking away the things he has made him very possessive and selfish. It condensed into this greed and uncontrollable desire to constantly play video games and eat.

Your attitude caused my short temper along with my irritation at attributes similar to my brother or you. The only reason that I try so hard to be nice to people is the results of my friends. They were the ones who truly taught me what it means to be friends with someone. Not you.

I hope that you treat my mother the way she deserves to be treated. You are such an ass to her. Despite that, she still does so much for you and you don’t even notice. You don’t even care. It isn’t enough. You want her to be one of the perfect housewives that are idealized from the baby boomer era. She has to have dinner on the table when you get home. She has to have every inch of the house clean ALL the time. She has to make sure that me and my brother are prepared for school. She has to make all the meals. Run all the errands. Do all the chores. Take care of everyone.

When I asked her why you were such an asshole, she got really pissed. She asked what I would have her do, divorce you and be homeless? We couldn’t live in this home. We can’t afford it. We would have to move back with my grandparents in San Francisco and live with them. I would have to change schools. I would have to change my entire life style because we would not be able to afford anything.

I honestly do not know what to say to you. The lack of respect for you makes me not want to talk to you at all. Even though you are my father, you certainly don’t act like it. You act four. Grow up. Be a mature adult. You are turning half a century old this year. Why don’t you demonstrate for once that you have half a century of wisdom and experience.

I will not bow down before you. I will not serve you.

Your son,

Jason.

Oh I swear to you, I’ll be there for you. Kpop concert coming up. Tomorrow at like 6pm. I’m asian yet I’m not going. Or being a fangirl. Guess why? I have my priorities straight. I have told this to you and you over and over and over and over and over and over again. You know out of all people what your priorities should be. How will this concert do anything for you. It won’t. Did you forget about the concert cube? Did you forget about the Cat Lab? Did you forget about your Japanese Final? Did you forget about your trig final? Did you forget about your apush final? Did you forget about how you have to take 7 classes next year because you did shit like this. Wake up. You read the post I wrote about my brother trying to influence me. This is the same shit. Now I try not to say names here even if it is so clear who the person is, but this one person needs to learn how to shut the hell up. I am sorry, and I have tried so hard to be polite about it. But shut the fuck up. I am so tired of hearing you freak out about kpop. I even said to you to calm down and be quiet. But no. You didn’t I continued asking what you got on the AP test for euro and you didn’t answer but we knew it was a 1. So then I said yeah maybe you should focus a little more. You proceeded to say that you failed because you were too focused. Are you fucking kidding me. So you decided that you would help me fail the AP test. Thanks. Yeah if I get a 1, I am going to fucking shove my fist down your throat. That is a waste of $100. Do you understand that? Do you understand that you can freak out all the fuck you want if it doesn’t bother anyone else. Do you know that your little. worthless. piece. of. shit. kpop antics are causing other people to fail too. Seriously. You’re probably like nooo I didn’t do anything. Guess what. Wake up to reality. If it wasn’t for you, would they be going so early in the morning that he can’t even come with us. Do you think that if he didn’t go to the concert he would be better off? Do you think I give any shit about this concert at all. Get your fucking priorities straight. Do you understand that we have finals next week. Do you understand that HE has finals next week. Do you understand that there is only two weeks of school left. I used to be okay with all your kpop stuff because it was funny. It. Gets. Old. I don’t fuckin’ want to hear your crap anymore. And if someone says that I’m a kpop hater they can fuckin die. I. Do. Not. Have. A. Problem. With. Kpop. My problem? YOU. Learn to shut the hell up. I am trying so hard to make sure my little brothers can get into the colleges they want to. I set up so much shit for them. Do you know why he needs to go on this trip with us? Because he has a low chance of becoming a CSF officer. Do you know why? You would think that because im friends with him he could easily get in. No. It is up to the presidents and advisers. Guess what. I ain’t either. I could easily put a good word in for him, but I question doing that. Because now I wonder, does he have his priorities straight. So you listen to kpop. That doesn’t mean your priorities are off, but when you start dropping everything you have to do for one little concert. And deciding that you are going to waste about 15 hours of your life just to stand in fucking line. Guess what. Your priorities aren’t straight. I have helped you throughout the entire year. Yet you decide to flaunt all my time that I could have easily spent sleeping helping you. You throw it out the drain. I guess finals don’t matter to you. I guess these final projects that are worth a significant portion of your grade are not important. Do I give a shit that you did your bio project on saturday? No. Because first of all he isn’t even in Bio. Furthermore, the one that is in bio won’t even accept my help because he would rather listen to his fucking kpop then do his damn homework. Do you know how irritating that is. He. Won’t. Do. His. Homework. Because. Of. Kpop. How the fuck is he going to get into any college when he won’t even do his homework. When he is so concerned over fucking anime, and manga, and music that he won’t do the simplest problems. You are like the fuckin antagonist in my life causing so many problems that I have to attempt to overcome. But you know what happens? The problems decide to join you. Do make my life harder. Do you think I care that YOU go to this fucking concert? No. Your academic and athletic life are a joke. Do you know why? Because instead of trying to learn the material you go kpop crazy. You listen to kpop all nighit. You dance to it. You don’t do any fucking thing with your life but kpop. Lets evaluate this. Will kpop get you into college? No. Will kpop help you get into college? No. Will kpop give you a job? Maybe. Not likely. Will kpop improve your education? No. Did kpop take over your life? Yes. Are you letting it ruin your friends lives? Yes. So fuck your shit. Wake up to reality. Do you understand why I am pissed now? I doubt it. Because fuckin everyone thinks I get angry so fucking easily. Yeah guess what. I try so hard to not get mad. But this is fucking over the top. You do not understand how this makes me want to just bomb the shit out of that concert. Too bad I never could. I am seriously so pissed. If you even talk to me in the next two weeks expect my fist to go down your throat. Learn to shut the fuck up. I had to ask all the officers if it would be okay for him to go. I had to waste my time for YOU to tell me he couldn’t fucking go because he is waiting in line. Do I even give a shit. I hope the entire thing is canceled and you waited for NOTHING. Why do I even bother helping them. There is no point. They’re just going to waste it all anyway because they “would do anything for them” Wake up to reality. Why don’t you just do every drug under the sun. Why don’t you just go fuck every one of them and get all the STDs in existence. Why don’t you just fucking jump off a cliff because you are a waste of life. I tried so hard to not get angry. I went to the quiet place. I punched a wall. I threw shit around to not make a rant on tumblr. But its too fucking late. If they ask for help for anything I’m going to tell them that they should have already done it, but no, they were at a fucking concert. Guess what. He doesn’t even have his isearch turned in. It was due on friday. He probably won’t even fucking have it on wednesday. You think Courey is generous enough to NOT deduct points on it? She yelled at him in class. Oh why didn’t he work on it on monday? He was at the fucking concert? Oh why didn’t he work on it on tuesday? He went to the beach trip, the tennis banquet, sports awards. Oh its wednesday already? Good job. Why didn’t he work on it on friday? He was at t24 hour tennis. Why didn’t he work on it on saturday? He fell aslsep, exhausted from 24 hour tennis. Why didn’t he work on it sunday? Because he is fucking lazy and he doesn’t even do his fucking homework. You think if he didn’t turn it in on time hes not procrastinating STILL? Wake up to fucking reality. This is the same exact shit that I told my brother. Get over his fucking video games because he needs to focus. Guess what. Both of them need to stop thinking about fucking kpop. And really. You are about to say that they don’t, but guess what. Every time I talk to them, they link me a kpop song. Everytime I go to his youtube account for trance songs, there is a shit ton more kpop on it. Music is music. There is nothing to fucking fangirl about. It isn’t helping you get to college or improve your education. It isn’t giving you any money. It isn’t going to help these idiots at all whatsoever. The only possible reason for them do fucking go is so they can relax and enjoy themselves. Yeah guess what. One of them doesn’t even do his fucking homework and he isn’t even fucking serious about school. He doesn’t need to relax. The other one went to hakone gardens and hes going to the fucking beach on tuesday. There is plenty for him to relax. The first idiot is going to the beach too. They don’t even have the fucking grades to qualify for CSF. Like are you fucking serious. This is how bad it is. You don’t even have the grades? You only need 3 A’s. 3. Or even 2 A’s would do it. But no. Fucking shit. I try not to nag them or to pester them about it, but seriously. Now at this point, you’re probably A. really sad and about to cry. or B. you’re getting hella pissed. So lets say its A. Great. Welcome to reality. Now learn to shut the fuck up. So if you decide to take the B. route, you’re probably thinking why the fuck do you care so much and you need to shut the fuck up because its none of your business. So first of all, let me remind you that YOU caused me to lose all my focus on one of my AP tests and almost a second one. No matter where I went, I could hear you. And that is a waste of $100 if not $200. Second of all, I was supposed to be doing my fucking cat lab right now, but no, I am writing this shit. And lastly, those two, are my little brothers. Along with one other brother, I do not have any other family. At all. My parents are pissed at me and I am pissed back. My “brother” is a useless pile of shit and shouldn’t even be related to me. Moreover, I have been working so hard, helping both of them with papers and assignments, trying to help them bring their grades up. I waste my time, staying up at night only to have you do THIS. You do not even realize how much I have to work for these idiots. The first one I have to cart around like im his chauffeur not to mention the fact that he forgets everything he owns and leaves it lying around and he eats a monumental amount of food. The second one is a little slow on the uptake and it takes fuckin forever to explain anything to him. Despite all of this, I still love them like they were my brothers. I was also thinking about making them bentos again for friday, but that isn’t going to happen anymore. So because I am so pissed, I am going to be nice and blunt about this. You are fucking slow and apparently deaf too. Learn when it is appropriate to fangirl. Go ahead. Nothing is wrong with having passion. But not before a fucking expensive ass test. You may not have had to pay $100 for them. But a lot of people did. Learn the shut up when someone else tells you that you should because there are more important things. Especially when it is coming out of my mouth. I rarely tell someone to shut up that I am not close to. If I say it and you aren’t close. I fucking mean it. I am trying not to be rude at that point so I won’t say SHUT THE FUCK UP. But I will next time. I do not even give any damn anymore. If I hear you fangirling about the concert on tuesday. My fist will be down your throat. If Peter Tran and Shaun Ino do not fucking turn their lab reports in on Thursday. ON TIME. My fist will be down your throat. If I have to tell you to shut up. My fist will be down your throat. If Shaun Ino does not have his concept cube ready on thursday, my fist will be down your throat. If I do not have my cat lab finished because I am writing this shit, my fist will be down your throat. If I fail the AP Bio final because you decided to talk about it right before, my fist will be down your throat. Now someone who reads this tell it to him. Because we all know he is going to fucking fangirl on wednesday. I am serious. You better learn when it is appropriate.

Oh I swear to you, I’ll be there for you.

Kpop concert coming up. Tomorrow at like 6pm.

I’m asian yet I’m not going. Or being a fangirl. Guess why? I have my priorities straight. I have told this to you and you over and over and over and over and over and over again. You know out of all people what your priorities should be. How will this concert do anything for you. It won’t. Did you forget about the concert cube? Did you forget about the Cat Lab? Did you forget about your Japanese Final? Did you forget about your trig final? Did you forget about your apush final? Did you forget about how you have to take 7 classes next year because you did shit like this. Wake up.

You read the post I wrote about my brother trying to influence me. This is the same shit. Now I try not to say names here even if it is so clear who the person is, but this one person needs to learn how to shut the hell up. I am sorry, and I have tried so hard to be polite about it. But shut the fuck up. I am so tired of hearing you freak out about kpop.

I even said to you to calm down and be quiet. But no. You didn’t I continued asking what you got on the AP test for euro and you didn’t answer but we knew it was a 1. So then I said yeah maybe you should focus a little more. You proceeded to say that you failed because you were too focused. Are you fucking kidding me.

So you decided that you would help me fail the AP test. Thanks. Yeah if I get a 1, I am going to fucking shove my fist down your throat. That is a waste of $100. Do you understand that? Do you understand that you can freak out all the fuck you want if it doesn’t bother anyone else.

Do you know that your little. worthless. piece. of. shit. kpop antics are causing other people to fail too. Seriously. You’re probably like nooo I didn’t do anything. Guess what. Wake up to reality. If it wasn’t for you, would they be going so early in the morning that he can’t even come with us. Do you think that if he didn’t go to the concert he would be better off?

Do you think I give any shit about this concert at all. Get your fucking priorities straight. Do you understand that we have finals next week. Do you understand that HE has finals next week. Do you understand that there is only two weeks of school left.

I used to be okay with all your kpop stuff because it was funny. It. Gets. Old. I don’t fuckin’ want to hear your crap anymore. And if someone says that I’m a kpop hater they can fuckin die. I. Do. Not. Have. A. Problem. With. Kpop. My problem? YOU.

Learn to shut the hell up.

I am trying so hard to make sure my little brothers can get into the colleges they want to. I set up so much shit for them. Do you know why he needs to go on this trip with us? Because he has a low chance of becoming a CSF officer. Do you know why? You would think that because im friends with him he could easily get in. No. It is up to the presidents and advisers. Guess what. I ain’t either. I could easily put a good word in for him, but I question doing that. Because now I wonder, does he have his priorities straight.

So you listen to kpop. That doesn’t mean your priorities are off, but when you start dropping everything you have to do for one little concert. And deciding that you are going to waste about 15 hours of your life just to stand in fucking line. Guess what. Your priorities aren’t straight.

I have helped you throughout the entire year. Yet you decide to flaunt all my time that I could have easily spent sleeping helping you. You throw it out the drain. I guess finals don’t matter to you. I guess these final projects that are worth a significant portion of your grade are not important. Do I give a shit that you did your bio project on saturday? No. Because first of all he isn’t even in Bio. Furthermore, the one that is in bio won’t even accept my help because he would rather listen to his fucking kpop then do his damn homework. Do you know how irritating that is.

He. Won’t. Do. His. Homework. Because. Of. Kpop.

How the fuck is he going to get into any college when he won’t even do his homework. When he is so concerned over fucking anime, and manga, and music that he won’t do the simplest problems. You are like the fuckin antagonist in my life causing so many problems that I have to attempt to overcome. But you know what happens? The problems decide to join you. Do make my life harder.

Do you think I care that YOU go to this fucking concert? No. Your academic and athletic life are a joke. Do you know why? Because instead of trying to learn the material you go kpop crazy. You listen to kpop all nighit. You dance to it. You don’t do any fucking thing with your life but kpop.

Lets evaluate this.

Will kpop get you into college? No. Will kpop help you get into college? No. Will kpop give you a job? Maybe. Not likely. Will kpop improve your education? No. Did kpop take over your life? Yes. Are you letting it ruin your friends lives? Yes. So fuck your shit.

Wake up to reality.

Do you understand why I am pissed now? I doubt it. Because fuckin everyone thinks I get angry so fucking easily. Yeah guess what. I try so hard to not get mad. But this is fucking over the top. You do not understand how this makes me want to just bomb the shit out of that concert. Too bad I never could.

I am seriously so pissed. If you even talk to me in the next two weeks expect my fist to go down your throat. Learn to shut the fuck up.

I had to ask all the officers if it would be okay for him to go. I had to waste my time for YOU to tell me he couldn’t fucking go because he is waiting in line. Do I even give a shit. I hope the entire thing is canceled and you waited for NOTHING.

Why do I even bother helping them. There is no point. They’re just going to waste it all anyway because they “would do anything for them” Wake up to reality. Why don’t you just do every drug under the sun. Why don’t you just go fuck every one of them and get all the STDs in existence. Why don’t you just fucking jump off a cliff because you are a waste of life.

I tried so hard to not get angry. I went to the quiet place. I punched a wall. I threw shit around to not make a rant on tumblr. But its too fucking late. If they ask for help for anything I’m going to tell them that they should have already done it, but no, they were at a fucking concert.

Guess what. He doesn’t even have his isearch turned in. It was due on friday. He probably won’t even fucking have it on wednesday. You think Courey is generous enough to NOT deduct points on it? She yelled at him in class. Oh why didn’t he work on it on monday? He was at the fucking concert? Oh why didn’t he work on it on tuesday? He went to the beach trip, the tennis banquet, sports awards. Oh its wednesday already? Good job. Why didn’t he work on it on friday? He was at t24 hour tennis. Why didn’t he work on it on saturday? He fell aslsep, exhausted from 24 hour tennis. Why didn’t he work on it sunday? Because he is fucking lazy and he doesn’t even do his fucking homework. You think if he didn’t turn it in on time hes not procrastinating STILL? Wake up to fucking reality.

This is the same exact shit that I told my brother. Get over his fucking video games because he needs to focus. Guess what. Both of them need to stop thinking about fucking kpop. And really. You are about to say that they don’t, but guess what. Every time I talk to them, they link me a kpop song. Everytime I go to his youtube account for trance songs, there is a shit ton more kpop on it.

Music is music. There is nothing to fucking fangirl about. It isn’t helping you get to college or improve your education. It isn’t giving you any money. It isn’t going to help these idiots at all whatsoever.

The only possible reason for them do fucking go is so they can relax and enjoy themselves. Yeah guess what. One of them doesn’t even do his fucking homework and he isn’t even fucking serious about school. He doesn’t need to relax. The other one went to hakone gardens and hes going to the fucking beach on tuesday. There is plenty for him to relax. The first idiot is going to the beach too.

They don’t even have the fucking grades to qualify for CSF. Like are you fucking serious. This is how bad it is. You don’t even have the grades? You only need 3 A’s. 3. Or even 2 A’s would do it. But no. Fucking shit. I try not to nag them or to pester them about it, but seriously.

Now at this point, you’re probably A. really sad and about to cry. or B. you’re getting hella pissed. So lets say its A. Great. Welcome to reality. Now learn to shut the fuck up. So if you decide to take the B. route, you’re probably thinking why the fuck do you care so much and you need to shut the fuck up because its none of your business.

So first of all, let me remind you that YOU caused me to lose all my focus on one of my AP tests and almost a second one. No matter where I went, I could hear you. And that is a waste of $100 if not $200. Second of all, I was supposed to be doing my fucking cat lab right now, but no, I am writing this shit. And lastly, those two, are my little brothers. Along with one other brother, I do not have any other family. At all. My parents are pissed at me and I am pissed back. My “brother” is a useless pile of shit and shouldn’t even be related to me.

Moreover, I have been working so hard, helping both of them with papers and assignments, trying to help them bring their grades up. I waste my time, staying up at night only to have you do THIS. You do not even realize how much I have to work for these idiots. The first one I have to cart around like im his chauffeur not to mention the fact that he forgets everything he owns and leaves it lying around and he eats a monumental amount of food. The second one is a little slow on the uptake and it takes fuckin forever to explain anything to him. Despite all of this, I still love them like they were my brothers.

I was also thinking about making them bentos again for friday, but that isn’t going to happen anymore.

So because I am so pissed, I am going to be nice and blunt about this. You are fucking slow and apparently deaf too. Learn when it is appropriate to fangirl. Go ahead. Nothing is wrong with having passion. But not before a fucking expensive ass test. You may not have had to pay $100 for them. But a lot of people did. Learn the shut up when someone else tells you that you should because there are more important things. Especially when it is coming out of my mouth. I rarely tell someone to shut up that I am not close to. If I say it and you aren’t close. I fucking mean it. I am trying not to be rude at that point so I won’t say SHUT THE FUCK UP. But I will next time. I do not even give any damn anymore. If I hear you fangirling about the concert on tuesday. My fist will be down your throat. If Peter Tran and Shaun Ino do not fucking turn their lab reports in on Thursday. ON TIME. My fist will be down your throat. If I have to tell you to shut up. My fist will be down your throat. If Shaun Ino does not have his concept cube ready on thursday, my fist will be down your throat. If I do not have my cat lab finished because I am writing this shit, my fist will be down your throat. If I fail the AP Bio final because you decided to talk about it right before, my fist will be down your throat.

Now someone who reads this tell it to him. Because we all know he is going to fucking fangirl on wednesday.

I am serious. You better learn when it is appropriate.